I'd say it with love
by Judroozz
Summary: A four-fic set after 'Code of Conduct'. The teams' feelings about Tony's words. Was it more than just a joke? TIVA-fluff!
1. Ziva

**So, this is the first chapter, set after 'Code of Conduct'. The story basically tells how the team feels about the sentence that made my day. It's just a four-shot about how Tony and Ziva could confess their feelings and get together. Just some Tiva-fluff. (since I'm a huge Tiva-fan)**

**I hope you like it as much as I like REVIEWS. (yes, that's a hint)**

~~Ziva's POV~~

_I'd say__ it with love…_

What was the meaning behind those words? Was it just a joke? Did it mean he cared about her? Or was it more? Did it mean he wanted to be more than just friends?

She had been thinking about it since the words came out of his mouth, into the world. They had shared a short conversation, quiet, just looking in the other ones eyes, she, asking what he meant with it, he, not giving an answer. And then he talked again, trying to make things a little less awkward, and she was left with her thoughts and unanswered questions, wondering what he had meant when he looked in her eyes, a small smile playing around his lips as if he was daring her to say something, to confess.

To confess what? That she loved him? That she was very likely _in _love with him? She knew she wouldn't, couldn't, confess, not before she knew for sure he felt the same way.

She looked up when someone walked into the bullpen and locked eyes with her. He smiled at her, his bright green eyes twinkling. She smiled back and he nodded at her, a silent but sweet hello, expressing things he would never say.

"Hi, Tony!" McGee said from behind his desk, smiling at the senior field agent.

He turned to face McGee. "Good morning, McGoo!" He said cheerfully.

McGee raised his eyebrows. "Wow, you're happy. Did you have a fun date or something?"

Tony sighed. "Don't you think I already would've told you if I had?"

"True." She said, giving Tony a small smile.

"I haven't had a date in a while, actually. I'm just happy to be at work again, to see you guys again…" He said while pointing at her and McGee.

McGee just raised his eyebrows and gave her a questioning look, which she answered by raising her shoulders, not knowing what to say.

It was weird that Tony was saying these things. She knew he loved his job, but it wasn't like him to tell them he was happy to be there and to see them again. Why was he being so mysterious, why couldn't he just tell her what he was thinking and feeling, why couldn't he just confess?

She wondered how long it had been since his last date and she only realized she had said it out loud when McGee looked at her with shock written all over his face and Tony turned around, a smile that didn't reach his eyes on his face.

"Just a couple of months." He said, the smile still on his face, but pain in his eyes.

She opened and closed her mouth, not really knowing what to say. "I am… sorry. It is not my business…" She said, trying to avoid his eyes.

When she met his eyes, they were soft and he had a sincere but slightly sad smile on his face. "It's okay, don't worry about it." He said, and turned around to sit down behind his desk.

After a while Gibbs walked in and she looked up. "Do we have a case, boss?" She heard Tony ask, and when she looked at him he gave her a friendly smile.

"No, but you and I have a videoconference up in MTAC in 5 minutes." Gibbs said while he walked towards his desk and opened a drawer to take out a file.

Tony raised his eyebrows. "A videoconference? With who?" He asked, and grinned when he added "The president?"

Gibbs glared at him. "No, SecNav."

Tony's mouth opened and closed. "… oh… yeah, that's another possibility…"

She smirked, he was still the same Tony. She had missed him these months. Even though he could be very annoying, he was Tony, and, it didn't matter if she confessed it or not, she loved him. She was _in _love with him. He always tried to lighten the mood, the cheer people up when they were down… he had always had her back, even when she hadn't wanted him to, even when she hadn't expected him to, when she hadn't deserved it.

He had said sorry, she had said sorry, they had forgiven each other, but she hadn't forgive herself. The things she had said to him where unforgivable.

She looked up and suddenly noticed Tony and Gibbs were gone.

"Why did he react that way?" She asked McGee, desperately wanting to know what had happened in the months she hadn't been there.

He looked up. "You should ask him, not me." He said, trying to avoid here eyes.

"McGee? Please tell me. What happened when I was gone? Why can't I know about it?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "What _happened_?! Ziva, we thought you were dead! That's what happened! We thought you had died on that ship! We were devastated." He said, a sad look in his eyes. He looked in her eyes and saw the question she didn't dare to ask. "And Tony, Tony was even worse…"

She looked at him in slight disbelief, until she understood. "He really blamed himself that much?" She asked, knowing how Tony reacted when he thought it was his fault.

McGee narrowed his eyes. "Do you think it was because he felt _guilty? _Do you really think that he would come and rescue you, risk his life for you, because he thought it was _his _fault?" McGee said, his voice only a whisper.

"He was different… those months. He was less… Tony. I mean, he was still making jokes, acting childish… but it was different, he really missed you. He got better at hiding it, it was barely noticeable in the end… but then we heard of your dead, and then… as he said… life lost all meaning to him…" He was looking her straight in the eye, his eyes sad. Her eyes had widened and had become sad, shock written all over her face. She blinked a couple of times to keep her tears from falling. She could barely believe it. Would he really act like that?

"Why?" She managed to whisper.

"He already told you…" He said.

_Couldn't live without you, I guess…_

She frowned slightly. "He meant it?" She asked, not really believing him. "Why would he tell me if he meant it? He would never do that."

He sighed. "He couldn't lie to you, remember? _Truth serum_?" He said, making her remember. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go back to work, Tony's gonna kill me for telling you this." He murmured, just hard enough for her to hear, and sighed, walking to his desk.

"McGee." She said, attracting his attention. "Thank you."

He nodded at her and looked down, concentrating on his work again, a sign for her to do the same.

**Reviews? Ideas? Yes, please!**


	2. McGee

**Thank you all so much for the sweet reviews, they really encourage me!**

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I was kinda busy. We've got a test week coming up, and I really don't wanna blow it. Anyway, It's 11.30 P.M. here, so I really gotta go to bed since I've got to get at 7 tomorrow morning, but I just felt I had to write this for you guys.**

**I hope you like it, and please tell me if you do, which means: please review!**

**Here's a little reminder:**

"**Why?" She managed to whisper.**

"**He already told you…" He said.**

_**Couldn't live without you, I guess…**_

**She frowned slightly. "He meant it?" She asked, not really believing him. "Why would he tell me if he meant it? He would never do that."**

**He sighed. "He couldn't lie to you, remember? **_**Truth serum**_**?" He said, making her remember. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go back to work, Tony's gonna kill me for telling you this." He murmured, just hard enough for her to hear, and sighed, walking to his desk.**

"**McGee." She said, attracting his attention. "Thank you."**

**He nodded at her and looked down, concentrating on his work again, a sign for her to do the same.**

_**The pieces in italics are flashbacks.**_

~~McGee's POV~~

_I'd say it with love…_

He had meant it, he was sure of that. Tony loved her, he had always loved her, and he always would. He wouldn't admit it, no, but he would show her. She just didn't get it. She didn't get the hints, the longing glances, the loving smiles, the sweet words and the love in his eyes. He had seen the confusion in her eyes when he had said it, wondering what he meant. But before she had even had the chance to question him about it, he had quickly said something to make it less awkward. Something typical DiNozzo.

She didn't get it that Tony had saved her because he loved her, because he would do anything for her. That it wasn't because he thought that it was his fault, or because he thought he owed that to her. It had been vengeance, vengeance for the women he loved and lost, vengeance for the women he wanted back, but thought he couldn't.

He had gotten to see and know the real Tony DiNozzo, the one without the jokes, the one that didn't flirt with every pretty woman he saw, the one that wanted and loved only one woman, _Ziva._

He had seen their relationship evolve, he had seen the longing glances and the flirtatious and sometimes seductive way of communication. The sweet smiles and silent conversations, just by looking in the other ones eye, told him and everybody else how they really felt about each other.

But right when he thought something was finally going to happen, everything fell apart, because one single man ruined it all. Tony hadn't even had a chance to explain, he hadn't been able to tell her he had only done it for her, not because he was jealous, but because he was worried about her and because he loved her.

He had seen Tony becoming a mess, drinking more alcohol than Gibbs drank coffee. He had seen him miss her more everyday, wishing for her to come back, wishing for everything to be fine, how it used to be…

He had seen him getting better at hiding it from the rest of the world, until she supposedly died… his world had fallen apart, he had been unreachable. It had hurt to see him like that, to see him dying inside and not being able to do anything about it.

And then, he saw him smile. A real smile, because she was back again. Back at NCIS, back in his life, back where she belonged.

He now saw the same but also different longing glances and the somewhat flirtatious but also uncertain way for communication, like they didn't really know how to behave, like they didn't know when they crossed the line and when not. They still wanted each other, but in a different way. It wasn't just lust anymore. It had even become more than being _in _love. They really loved each other, and it was so clear they wanted to be together, they just needed a little push. He could see the doubts and fresh worries in her eyes, he could see her wonder just why he still cared. He had hoped everything would go back to the way it was, but this was actually even better.

He was sitting behind his desk, and couldn't help looking at what was happening in front of him. The secret stares, the quick glances, the friendly smiles and the quiet conversations. He just couldn't not notice them, it was too obvious. It was like they were playing a game. She would stare and then he would stare, without the other one noticing. Then they would glance at each other and smile when they noticed the other one was doing exactly the same. Then they would just look in the other ones eyes for a moment before they would go back to work, trying to at least not look at the other one for a minute, before the scene would be repeated again.

He sometimes saw his eyes filled with fear, fear of losing her again and fear she wasn't real. He still remembered the day he had found him like it was yesterday.

_--- flashback ---_

_He knocked on Tony's door, hoping he hadn't drowned himself in alcohol yet. The was no sound on the other side of the door, and he knocked again. Finally, after several minutes, he heard a bang, like someone fell, and he called Tony's name, hoping that everything was alright._

_The door was opened and there he was, his eyes blood-shot and his hair a mess, his face expressing all the pain he was feeling._

"_Hi, Tim. Shorry i-too me shoo long… kinda fell back-the…" Tony slurred, trying to keep himself form falling by leaning against the door._

_He sighed. "Come on, Tony. Let's get you in a sitting position, this won't work." He said, grabbing Tony around his waist and helping him into his living room, onto his couch. When Tony was finally sitting on his couch, or at least something like it, he went to kitchen to get him a glass of water._

_When he came back in his living room, he saw Tony had fallen asleep, a picture of Ziva in his hand. He sat down next to him and just watched him sleep, noticing that, even when he slept, his face was still sad. The bags under his eyes were even more obvious and he could see his eyes disco dance under his eyelids. He wasn't sleeping peacefully, not like he used to. It was hard to imagine, but he was probably having a nightmare every night, not just this night._

"_Ziva…" Tony whispered, and grabbed in the air, trying to get a hold of something that wasn't there._

It had been the evening after they heard of Ziva's dead. He had known Tony was probably going to get himself wasted, so he thought he would go and watch him, maybe help him, like Tony had done so many times for him.

He had finished another report and decided it was Time for a coffee-break. He stood from his chair and looked at Tony when he looked up. "Where you going?" Tony asked.

"Coffee-break, you guys want some?"

"Yeah, thanks." Tony said, giving him a small grin.

"Yes, thank you, McGee." Ziva said, smiling at him, before looking at Tony who was already looking at him. She smiled and raised her eyebrows seductively.

He walked away and waited for the elevator to arrive. When he looked over his shoulder one more time before walking into the elevator, he saw they were already invading each others personal spade, big grins on their faces and love in their eyes.

They were incorrigible…

**So, what'd you think? I hope you liked it. I know it's not really good or anything, but I had to write it fast…**

**Next chapter will be Tony's POV. ****I'll try to upload soon! REVIEW?**


	3. Tony

**I'm **_**really **_**sorry it took me so long to update! I'm in the middle of a test-week, so I'm extremely busy. I wrote this chapter really fast, cuz I actually had to learn, so it's not really good or anything… but, it does contain what, I hope, you guys wanted…**

**It's longer than normal cuz I felt really guilty about letting you guys wait for so long.**

**Thanks for all the sweet reviews I got for last chapter, and don't forget:**

**Enjoy, and please review in the end. ^ ^**

**What happened last time:**

**He had finished another report and decided it was Time for a coffee-break. He stood from his chair and looked at Tony when he looked up. "Where you going?" Tony asked.**

"**Coffee-break, you guys want some?"**

"**Yeah, thanks." Tony said, giving him a small grin.**

"**Yes, thank you, McGee." Ziva said, smiling at him, before looking at Tony who was already looking at him. She smiled and raised her eyebrows seductively.**

**He walked away and waited for the elevator to arrive. When he looked over his shoulder one more time before walking into the elevator, he saw they were already invading each others personal spade, big grins on their faces and love in their eyes.**

**They were incorrigible…**

~~Tony's POV~~

_I'd say it with love…_

What had he been thinking! Why had he said that?! How could he've been so… stupid. Did he really think everything would just go back to normal? That the bickering and bantering, the flirting and the sexual tension would all still be there? Everything had changed… their relationship was different, they were more cautious, and even though he never would've put an arm around her waist in the past, he would've been too scared for her ninja-skills, he now didn't even dare to grab her by her arm if they were in a hurry or something like that… It was not that they ignored each other, or that it was all business, because that was not true. They were actually flirting, and smiling, and flirting again… but he knew it was just to keep up appearances, and that she actually wanted something else, he just didn't know what…

They had become very cautious, it was like there were thick lines between them that could never be crosses, like there was this huge gap between them… that couldn't be closed.

It hurt to have her back with them, to be able to see her every day, but still not be able to touch her and take her in his arms, to kiss her, to tell her how he felt… Every time he tried to make the gap smaller, something just happened that made it only bigger.

They had forgiven each other, they had talked about everything that had happened, in the _men's room, _but it still wasn't alright. There was something in her eyes, he didn't know what, but it made him stop. He didn't know what to do when she looked at him like that. Her eyes were soft, but there was a hint of pain in them, and he couldn't figure out why.

"Why'd you say it?" A voice behind him asked.

He turned around in his chair and was met with McGee's kind eyes. He smiled slightly. He had grown close with him over the past few months, even though he would never admit, he was like a little brother to him and he knew he could always count on him, no matter how much he teased him.

He knew what he meant, he just didn't know the answer to it…

He had meant it, that was one thing for sure, he would do anything for her.

He would kill her boyfriend, he would get himself captured, he would risk his life for her, and he would all do it with love. She just didn't know he would…

"I don't know…" He said. And it was the truth. He had meant what he said, but he just didn't know why he had told her… he would never tell her something like that, because then she'd find out… but maybe that had been his goal.

Yes. He wanted her to know… he was tired of pretending like he just saw her as a partner, as a woman that was important to him, as a woman he cared about, but only as a partner. He loved her, he was in love with her, and he was ready to tell her. He wanted, needed, to tell her.

"No wait, I do… I want her to know…" He said, looking out of the window into the dark night. He didn't know why he was still at the office, nor did he know why McGee had come back, but he was glad he had…

McGee sighed and sat down on his desk. "Finally."

He raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment. He knew McGee knew, it had been very obvious during those months, and he wasn't even going to hide it anymore.

"Why are you still here anyway?" McGee asked.

He raised his shoulders. "Don't know, didn't really feel like going home…"

McGee nodded. He didn't have to say anything, they both knew it. He didn't want to go home because it would feel like she wasn't back…

When he was at the office, he could look at her desk, the only confirmation she was back again, until he would see her again the next morning.

"Why are you here?" He asked, looking at McGee who was staring in the distance.

McGee looked up and met his eyes. "Just came to check something…" He said, knowing he would understand. And he did. He had come to check up on him, to see if he was here again, too afraid to go home.

He gave McGee a sad smile, a silent thank you. "Go home, Tony, get some rest. She won't go anywhere, you know she's back, you know she's safe now…"

"I know…" He sighed. Since when could McGee read him so well?

*** Next morning ***

He walked out of the elevator and looked around, putting on his trademark grin, his mask. He smiled at the people he passed and sat down behind his desk. He was happy he always had some spare cloths in his drawer, so nobody, except for McGee, would know he had stayed at the office again.

"Good morning!" He said, very enthusiastically.

McGee raised his eyebrows at his happiness, but didn't say anything about it. "Hi, Tony."

Ziva looked up and smiled at him. "Hi." He smiled back at her and turned his computer on.

After a few moments of glancing and smiling at Ziva and returning them when she did the same, Gibbs walked in.

"Do we have a case, boss?"

"No." Gibbs said, sitting down behind his desk.

"Another call with SecNav?" He asked, smiling hopefully.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "No, DiNozzo. That was just because of your rescue-mission, he knows what happened now."

Tony sighed, this was going to be a long day…

*** Cafeteria ***

"Ahh, DiNozzo's still got it!" He grinned, as he picked up the candy bar that had rolled out of the vending machine. He turned around and was met with Ziva. He smiled, and she smiled back. Her eyes were soft, but also a little nervous, and that startled him. Why was she nervous?

"You want one too?" He asked, holding up his candy bar.

She chuckled. "No, thank you, Tony. I will pay for one if I need one."

He chuckled and then raised his eyebrows. If she didn't want anything to eat, then why was she there? "You want something to drink?" He asked, desperately trying to keep her busy, and to avoid the questions he knew were going to come.

She just shook her head. "Why did you not go home last night?" She asked, her eyes confused, but also a little worried.

He looked at her in surprise. How did she know?

She sighed. "Your toothbrush and toothpaste were still lying on your desk." She explained.

He leaned against the vending machine, looking out of the window. "I didn't feel like going home…" He said, hoping she would leave it with that.

"Why?" She asked, leaning next to him against the vending machine.

He closed his eyes for a moment. "Being at home reminds me of things I don't want to remember…"

She turned towards him. "What kind of things?"

He looked at her, trying to read her mind, wanting to know what she was thinking and feeling. He wondered what he should answer, and it was quiet for a while, he, just staring out of the window, she, staring at him, waiting for an answer. Finally he spoke. "Things that I felt and that happened during the past few months…" He said, hoping that it was enough of an explanation.

"I am sorry, Tony." Ziva said, her eyes locked with his.

He smiled down at her and pushed a string of hair out of her face. "What for?"

"For everything you have been through the past months, just because of me…"

He silenced her by putting a finger on her lips. "Don't be. I'm glad about the way everything worked out the way it did. Yes, those months were hell, but they made me realize how much you mean to me, they made me go out there and rescue you, and you know what, I'd do it again and again, and I'd do it with love…" He said, a small sincere smile on his face.

She smiled at him and stepped closer. She then suddenly leaned in to him and pulled him into a soft slow kiss. His heart jumped by the feel of her lips against his and he felt like his mind was going crazy. He quickly responded and pushed her against the vending machine. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. He dropped his candy bar while his arms snaked around her waist and his hands went under her shirt, caressing her warm skin. She moaned, and her hands ruffled his hair while the kiss turned more passionate. He pushed her even further up against the vending machine and she wrapped her legs around his waist, still not breaking off the kiss.

They were just running out of air, when they heard footsteps. They abruptly broke off their kiss and looked at each other in panic, knowing they couldn't be seen the way they looked at that very moment. He quickly put her down and they looked for a way out. She signed to the door to their left and quickly pulled him along, not letting go of him. They closed the door behind them and looked around. She put on the light and they noticed they were in a dimly lit closet. He sat down on a bucket and pulled her with him, placing her in his lap. He smiled sweetly at her before putting his ear against the door, hoping to hear something. When he looked at her again, he noticed she was already looking at him, a small smile playing around her lips.

"What?" He whispered.

She just smiled a bigger smile. "You're… adorable, I don't know how else to put it."

He grinned and leaned towards her until their foreheads touched. "I love you, Ziva David." He said, and then kissed her again. A soft slow kiss, that expressed his feelings perfectly.

When they broke apart for air, he looked in her eyes and noticed the small twinkle, the bedroom eyes, dark from lust, her low and fast breathing, and the seductive smile around her lips.

"I love you too." She said with a grin, before attacking his mouth again, this time more forceful and meaningful. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her again. His hands roamed her body under her shirt while he trailed kissed down her jaw. She threw her head back and moaned, pulling him even closer, melting her body with his. They then kissed each other again, their tongues battling for dominance.

Just as she started to fumble with his buttons, the door was opened and they were met with Gibbs.

_Busted._

**So, I hope you guys liked it! Please press that button and review!**

**I'll really try to update sooner next time!**

**Next time: Gibbs' POV!**


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